12. Silent Thoughts

I'm confused and lost. Lost my focus. Right now, I'm not sure the choice I made was the right one. Maybe I should have stayed longer and waited. The stars have indicated earlier, but I was not superstitious enough to believe it. I can't afford to regret now. No, not at this moment yet.

I came with passion and motivation, visualing what I wanted and hoped it would be. But all don't seem to be that when you are already in it. It took lots of patience and determination to be where I want to be today. I had my sets of beliefs and targets. I tried my best to plan and decide which was the best course. I did not decide this in haste, but yet, why do I hesitate at this moment?

I have no one to blame except for my own. Me and my ego and stubborness. I have never like admitting defeat on my own decisions. I have always shoulder on to prove my decision was right, and try to work things out my way. But why do I lack the strength now? Where's my faith when I need it most?

I got to remember my reasons for choosing this. My goals, my dreams, my beliefs. I just need more patience and stronger will, and not losing focus why I am where I am, doing what I'm doing. I will look back at my plans and have alternative plans. But anyhow I will hang on till I get my results. It's going to test my determination and patience again. I pray to god that I'm given this strength to carry on, and I'm thankful I have the support that I need.

Life's full of challenges. I hope I tide over this challenge and become a stronger and better person. God has His own way of guiding His beloved subjects. Tomorrow's another new day. Things will get better, it has to be. There's always hope. That's what keep us going.


mc said...

hi, me dear friend. Be strong! If you believe in the aura, take a photo of your aura, and see the current 'you' now.

firethorn said...

Thanks mc. Knowing I'm not alone out there, I shall hang on and be strong. I'm always glad to have friends like you around :-)

rin-en said...

hehh.. i'm trying to be strong myself! you are not alone...i'm kicking hard..kick up, kick sideways, but couldn't hit a goal yet. And I'm always hitting my ball out of court. SIGH..but we shall believe, one day.... we'll score not only one, but a few goals!

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